As the new year approaches people reflect on the past year and begin to form new resolutions for the coming year. It's funny to think how many people not only don't reach their goal, but can't remember what is was originally.
Last year I decided that I was going to let myself have fun and not let anyone hold me back from my dreams. That I was going to make decisions for me, not for others pleasure; because honestly, it's my life not theirs. It took me a long time to get to this point. It took heartache. It took the courage to stand up for myself and say what was on my mind. It took me over 6 months to start reaching my goal of becoming myself, but it was well worth the wait. I realized how much fun I could have if I stopped worrying what others thought and did what was right and fun for me!
This year I've achieved a lot, but there is still so much to do. I've decided that in the next year I want to continue to find myself and to be true to myself. I want to begin believing in my decisions and know that I'm making a decision based on me, not everyone else. Mainly, I want to make sure that I stay focused on getting ready for college. My big goal is to make sure that I enjoy what's left of my senior year and that I have a summer that I'll remember with my girl and guy friends; because I might not ever see them again. It's time to start and continue living the way that I want to live.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Giving and Getting IS NOT Everything
Christmas time is always an interesting time for people. Friends try to spend as little as they can but get the best gifts possible. Children and teens struggle with what to spend on who and try to keep what they've bought a secret. It all gets so crazy. The sales are always amazing. Stores are usually packed. Some people even wait in line for hours at a time to be the first to buy this new video game or gaming system. Is it really worth all the struggle? Is it worth working for all this money and spending it on something that may be used and helpful, but then again it may just be set aside and never looked at again?
I don't think of Christmas as a time of getting. I don't necessarily think of it as a time of giving either. For me, Christmas means a time to catch up with my big cousin on how her new life with her new husband is going. It's a chance to see my grandmother smile as we all sit around the table for a Christmas dinner she slaved over. It's a time where I can sit around with the people I love most, catch up on things, and talk about the future. My family is always so close. We play games, talk, watch movies together, and so much more. I can't even compare a tangible gift to the feeling of seeing everyone that I miss all year long. I don't see the people that love me near enough and it's hard to think that next year I'll see them even less. I already only see my aunt and uncle once a year on Christmas. Even though I get to see my mom's side of the family and my other Grandma a lot, it's not near what I wish. To think that next year I will only be able to see my family on holidays is scary. I'm so close with everyone. The only plus is that I'll have new experiences and stories to share with them. It's hard to live over 2 hours away from family and next year I could be up to 6 hours away from them. Others don't realize how lucky they can be to see their extended family so much.
Christmas for me isn't about the gifts. It isn't about how much I spent on someone or what they gave me in return. Christmas is about seeing my entire family in a span of 3 days. It's about the craziness of traveling around Pittsburgh to make sure we get enough time with each family. It's about being able to share my life and experiences with the people that I love most. I wouldn't trade being with my family for any gift in the world!
I don't think of Christmas as a time of getting. I don't necessarily think of it as a time of giving either. For me, Christmas means a time to catch up with my big cousin on how her new life with her new husband is going. It's a chance to see my grandmother smile as we all sit around the table for a Christmas dinner she slaved over. It's a time where I can sit around with the people I love most, catch up on things, and talk about the future. My family is always so close. We play games, talk, watch movies together, and so much more. I can't even compare a tangible gift to the feeling of seeing everyone that I miss all year long. I don't see the people that love me near enough and it's hard to think that next year I'll see them even less. I already only see my aunt and uncle once a year on Christmas. Even though I get to see my mom's side of the family and my other Grandma a lot, it's not near what I wish. To think that next year I will only be able to see my family on holidays is scary. I'm so close with everyone. The only plus is that I'll have new experiences and stories to share with them. It's hard to live over 2 hours away from family and next year I could be up to 6 hours away from them. Others don't realize how lucky they can be to see their extended family so much.
Christmas for me isn't about the gifts. It isn't about how much I spent on someone or what they gave me in return. Christmas is about seeing my entire family in a span of 3 days. It's about the craziness of traveling around Pittsburgh to make sure we get enough time with each family. It's about being able to share my life and experiences with the people that I love most. I wouldn't trade being with my family for any gift in the world!
Monday, December 15, 2008
Teens are Adults
It's funny to think the responsibility that high school students seem to have. They drive. They work. They almost control all aspect of their lives. If they don't want to do something they don't; it's as simple as that.
Teenagers are faced with these insane adult decisions every day. Should I go to this party or stay at home where I know I'm safe? Should I drive too fast because it sounds fun? Should I skip work to do something I want to or go because they need me there? The way teens handle themselves in these situations really shows the character and person they have matured to be. Now, maybe not everyone has reached their "maturity" level yet, who's to say.
I think it's crazy that as a teenager I had to decide to get a job and work on the night of home rival basketball game or call off, maybe even not get job at all. I think it's crazy that at the age of 18 I have to decide where I want to get the education that with further my career and, wow, even pick a career.
Adults always say that teens don't "understand" but I really think we do. We are faced with huge decisions daily that will effect our lives and can hold adult consequences. We have to take responsibility for our actions and decisions and act as if we really are adults. I think we do understand, I think some of us understand more than adults do sometimes.
Teenagers are faced with these insane adult decisions every day. Should I go to this party or stay at home where I know I'm safe? Should I drive too fast because it sounds fun? Should I skip work to do something I want to or go because they need me there? The way teens handle themselves in these situations really shows the character and person they have matured to be. Now, maybe not everyone has reached their "maturity" level yet, who's to say.
I think it's crazy that as a teenager I had to decide to get a job and work on the night of home rival basketball game or call off, maybe even not get job at all. I think it's crazy that at the age of 18 I have to decide where I want to get the education that with further my career and, wow, even pick a career.
Adults always say that teens don't "understand" but I really think we do. We are faced with huge decisions daily that will effect our lives and can hold adult consequences. We have to take responsibility for our actions and decisions and act as if we really are adults. I think we do understand, I think some of us understand more than adults do sometimes.
Friday, December 12, 2008
What will you do?
The other night my mother and I were talking about Christmas and what we can do in memory of my cousin David. It's hard to believe that we already spent 3 years (going on 4) without him there to share in the Christmas spirit. It's hard to even sit here and type this, because I can never stop thinking about him. Something people don't really understand is the feeling of loosing someone that didn't need to be gone yet. Every Christmas my family tries to do something in the memory of my cousin and all the troubles he struggled with. It's indescribable how terrible it feels to sit at grandmas and wish you could still hear him playing his guitar right there in front of the tree.
Teenagers and young adults don't understand how precious their life really can become. We all live our lives for the "moments" but you have to ask yourself what happens when that "moment" is gone. Do you give up? Ask yourself what you can do with your time when there isn't a special "moment" there to keep you entertained. You have a great life, because you have life. You'll never really understand how great it is until it's gone. Now it sounds crazy, you'll miss life when you're dead, how can you miss it if you're dead? It's not about you personally missing it. How many times have you lost a loved one? If you have you know what I'm talking about. That part of your life feels like it's dead and missing after they are gone. It's human nature to miss someone and never lose them out of your memory; but we all have to figure out a way to deal with the pain. My family buys something in the memory of my cousin. What will you do?
Teenagers and young adults don't understand how precious their life really can become. We all live our lives for the "moments" but you have to ask yourself what happens when that "moment" is gone. Do you give up? Ask yourself what you can do with your time when there isn't a special "moment" there to keep you entertained. You have a great life, because you have life. You'll never really understand how great it is until it's gone. Now it sounds crazy, you'll miss life when you're dead, how can you miss it if you're dead? It's not about you personally missing it. How many times have you lost a loved one? If you have you know what I'm talking about. That part of your life feels like it's dead and missing after they are gone. It's human nature to miss someone and never lose them out of your memory; but we all have to figure out a way to deal with the pain. My family buys something in the memory of my cousin. What will you do?
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Frustrating-High School
I saw this shirt yesterday that said "God created Calculus to make smart people feel dumb." This shirt might be funny, but it seems to be so true. Something about the Differentiation and finding dy/dx just don't seem to stick into my head. There are always tons of things you have to remember in math. They all build on one another. It's always been so easy for me, and now I'm starting to realize how people feel when they don't understand and it takes more than a few tries to grasp the concept. As I sit here and type I begin to wonder if I can really do all of this. If I will be able to handle Calculus one, two, and beyond in college.
Part of being a high school student is finding the tools and building the framework to help live the rest of your life. The whole point of high school is taking things slow to grasp the understanding so when you have to use it later on you are able to remember and perform quickly. It's frustrating while you're here learning, but at the end of the day it all seems worth the struggle. Everyone must remember that when you are frustrated it means that you want to succeed and will do anything for that success. We have to become patient with ourselves and our classmates so we can all learn and build our toolbox for life.
Part of being a high school student is finding the tools and building the framework to help live the rest of your life. The whole point of high school is taking things slow to grasp the understanding so when you have to use it later on you are able to remember and perform quickly. It's frustrating while you're here learning, but at the end of the day it all seems worth the struggle. Everyone must remember that when you are frustrated it means that you want to succeed and will do anything for that success. We have to become patient with ourselves and our classmates so we can all learn and build our toolbox for life.
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